Network Pizza Model

It’s Super Bowl Sunday and in sports-mad Boston that means food, even more so now that the Patriots are aiming for 19-0.  Here’s an old joke amongst network techs about pizza and the 7-layer OSI model.  I never see this in search engines anymore, so:

Date: Sat, 26 Mar 94 14:18:59 MST
From: […] (Charlie Shub)
Subject: The OSI Pizza Model
To: spaf

* From: DAVID LAWRENCE NICOL […] to the ACM student chapter list…

Level 7: Meal layer.  Hungry humans get nourished and revitalized.
Level 6: Presentation layer.  Do you use a plate?  Forks?  Napkins?
Level 5: Session layer.  Was level 4 prompt? Do you tip two dollars or three?
Level 4: Transport layer.  Some poor shmoe has to find your cul-de-sac.
Level 3: Network layer.  You call your Pizza service provider on the phone  and have a synchronous negotiation regarding aspects of levels 2 and 4.
Level 2: Sauce and toppings, as specified in Level 3.
Level 1: Physical crust layer.  The bread on which the entire pizza is

I make my own pizza from scratch ever since the time 10 years ago that a local pizza place managed to alienate me enough to lose my temper through their poor customer service.  They changed ownership but I never went back.  I learned to bake for myself instead! 

Layer 1 Physical Crust Layer
  • 1/3 cup olive oil
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1-1/4 cup water
  • 3 cups flour
  • 1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
  • 1/4 tsp oregano
  • 2 tsp active dry yeast

Layer 2 Sauce and toppings

  • Pizza sauce (I use the jar type;  I’m not strong on sauces so make your own…)
  • Fancy blended shredded cheese (any pizza combo or make your own combo)
  • Pepperoni
  • Peppers
  • Feta cheese

Layer 1 Construction

Mix oil, salt, half of the water (1 cup worth), cheese, and flour.  Stir until combined, cover and let stand for 20 minutes.  Continue mixing until the dough ball forms and is tacky (not too dry or wet.)  Add water if dry.  Mix in yeast.  Once you have a good dough ball, cover the mixing bowl and let stand for 45 minutes to rise. 

Bread machine instructions:  Put machine in dough cycle and add all ingredients.  If you’re using a machine, you probably know enough to check the dough wetness as the machine runs.

Remove dough onto a flat surface (I like parchment paper).  If you want to make small rounds, divide the dough ball now.  Brush the dough ball(s) with olive oil, cover with towel and let rise 45 minutes.  Preheat oven to 450 degrees while the dough is rising.

Layer 2 construction should be easy enough to figure out.  Layers 3 through 7 will be very site-specific–I can’t help you there.

Yields 1 round or two smaller rounds.


Yucks Digest V4 #11 (shorts)


One Comment on “Network Pizza Model”

  1. […] years ago, the last time the Patriots were in the Superbowl, I invented a real-life example of the Network Pizza Model originally attributed to David Lawrence Nicol.  I wanted to update my pizza model to reflect […]

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